Whiskey River Soap Co. 2-Wick Soy Candles

4 In Stock


Net Weight: Approximately 17 oz., Burn time: 60 hours. Note: Because candles are handmade, no two are identical.

A Candle for A New Home - Smell that? Yeah, nothing except maybe clean paint and a hint of chocolate chip cookie air freshener. No cat pee, spoiled milk, or the unmistakable stench of sadness. So huff on that baggage-free lifestyle for as long as you can because you’ll be back to wallowing in your own filth soon. New homes are only new for so long. Trendy Terrarium Scented.

A Candle for Military Wives - Where are we again? Pretty sure we were in Gagetown yesterday but my phone says I'm now checking the local forecast in Nova Scotia. You know what that means... time to find a new school for the kids! Again. Four cities in six years. And the kids had just figured out where their bedrooms were. Chaotic Kumquat Scented.

A Candle for Besties - Let’s unpack this.
 And by that, I mean let's unpack everything. I have soooo many things I need to tell you since I last saw you 12 hours ago. And nobody else understands my bitching the way you do! We've got our own girl gang and we don't need any new members. So drink up, buttercup. 'Cuz we're not doing this sober. Grape Hard Seltzer Scented.

A Candle for Drinking Buddies - Meet me after work?
 Haha. Like I have to ask. I'll see you at 5:01 p.m. on our usual stools at our usual spot with our usual drinks. There's such comfort in rituals. Speaking of rituals, I'm in the bathroom right now Snapchatting you on my fourth break of the day. Only two more breaks and it's five! Cya soon! Dos Margaritas Scented.

A Candle for Classy AF - So classy. That's what I thought when I saw you at the bus station in stilettos. And when I noticed your Starbucks cup filled with merlot, I said to myself, no. That is classy AF. I wish I could pull it off, but I'm resigned to scrunchies, pyjama jeans and flip flops. That's just how I roll. The Little Black Candle (Black Currant) Scented.

A Candle for Cat People - Hairball much? Your cats are circling the tub, but don't count on them joining you unless you really are bathing in warm milk. And maybe you are. You cat people are cuh-razy. I should know. I have 14. What? Don't judge. My house may be full of hairballs and cat toys, but at least they don't leave the toilet seat up. Most days. Warm Milk Scented.

A Candle for Single Ladies - Know what's fun? Hanging out with my friends. Focusing on my career. Doing shots all night. Binge watching Riverdale. Eating a whole thing of Halo Top at 2 a.m. Not having to answer to anyone... just sayin'. Oh, and checking for texts. And orbiting. And checking my horoscope. And crying in the shower. STILL. Like when it's summer and you start missing cooler temps, I know I'll miss this when it's gone.  Lemonade Scented.

A Candle for Dog People - Smells like drool. But you're used to that, right? In fact, if I had to guess I'd say your dog is probably sitting in the tub with you right now. Not that I blame you. My dog Charlie is tucked in bed with me right now. And we're wearing matching dog bone jammies. Grassy Dog Park Scented.

A Candle for Shit Shows - Welcome to the Shit Show.
 It's poorly-produced, but what would you expect? It only took us six shots of Fireball to get here. Tonight, I mean. The shit show of my life needs no lubricant. All I have to to is roll out of bed, avoid the mirror and slink off to my day job to count the hours until it's happy hour again. And look, it's almost noon already! See you at the bar. Fireball Shots Scented.

A Candle for Hot Messes - Hey girrrrl. Look at you stumbling down the sidewalk at 7 a.m. in yesterday’s little black romper and sparkly space buns. I’m not one to judge or anything, but I do find your everyday life mad entertaining. So why don’t you just come on in and tell me about it? I’ve already started the popcorn. Cheap Lip Gloss Scented.

A Candle for Zero Fucks - None to give. We hear you. You're so over it you can't even. This newly-concocted bad attitude is just what the doctor ordered! Plus, none of us really liked it when you were just a simple, caring, average Joe. So kudos to you! Even though you couldn't give a F. We know. None to give. Creamsicle Scented.

A Candle for Okay Moms - Congratulations. You’re the world’s okayest mom! I’d get you a mug, but you know I swore off giving gifts years ago after Sue Ellen from high school forgot to publicly wish me a “Happy Birthday” on Facebook and destroyed my love of holidays forever. But let’s face it, perfect moms are the absolute worst, with their spotless car seats, neatly organized organic snacks, and “adequately-stocked” first aid kits. Okay Moms are the best kind of moms. Sippy cup wine, the five-second rule, and loads of naps are where it’s at.. Sippy Cup Wine Scented.

A Candle for Being Awesome - Cool story, bro.
 You know how some people try really hard to be awesome and other people are just naturally that way? It's like the difference between some suuuper lame story about like, college credits or your thesis, and a totally awesome story about jumping really high or explosions. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. Bro. One Surfing Lesson (Ocean) Scented.

A Candle for Baking Wizards - Fresh banana bread anyone? That's just the tip. I've moved on to baguettes, challah and focaccia. Don't believe me? Check all my social media, hater. I'm practically a one-person artisan bread bakery at this point. And check it tomorrow. I've got a highly-active sourdough starter on the counter that's gonna knock your virtual socks off. Fresh Artisan Bread Scented.

 

 

 

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